Friends

A few of the bullet points from the last entry reminded me of a topic I wanted to discuss:  mainly, friends.  When we`re young, our friends are mostly around the same age as us and as we grow older the demographics change more.  Here my friends are an extremely diverse group from my friend/mother/co-worker Rosa who`s 42 to her 7 year old daughter to my 17 year old evangelical friend.  It definitely makes for a wide array of conversation topics.  It also makes me rethink friendship and my view of it.  My relationship with Rosa is multifaceted.  At times she acts as my mother, my supervisor, my best friend, and my colleague.  I`m also close with her daughters and like to make dinner with them or just play games and joke around.  Do I call a seven year old my friend though?  As I explained in an earlier entry, Rosa invited me to be part of their family so I look at them as my Guatemalan family, but what about all of the other kids who I`ve befriended?  In this sense, language seems to fail me since calling a child my friend seems odd and inappropriate yet it`s also the best description available.

Another issue is that while my poor American friends have had to listen to me bitch for years, a lot of the things that frustrate me here are cultural.  When I try to explain why something bothers me, I can`t quite explain why I`m frustrated to my friends.  I also definitely worry too much.  Very unbecoming of a young lady if you ask me!  It`s not really culturally relevant here either.  My problem is that I don`t want to let people down or disappoint them, especially if I`ve committed to something, but that conscientiousness is not reciprocated.  Example:  I`ve changed my schedule to accompany coworkers/friends to events and rushed to get there (not eating, forgetting things) and then end up waiting 30 minutes without explanation and then they ditch me at the event or don`t invite me into conversation.  Hm.  I`ve also developed a problem of over committing myself since I have trouble saying no—relating back to the previous statement.  I`m currently working on finding a balance of being busy but not rundown and having time to relax but not being bored or feeling lonely.  It`s all a delicate balance since hanging out with friends here can be relaxing but taxing at the same time since I`m still (frustratingly) learning social scripts. 

While this may sound like a rather negative or frustrated entry, it`s more so an accurate progression of what it`s like adapting to another culture and lifestyle.  My relationships are developing and I`m meeting more people weekly.  Everyday has some new experience or surprise to it, and with that comes the realization that understanding the culture here is a dynamic, never-ending process.